If this is the year you’ve decided to go online to find a mate, Francine our “Family” expert has lots of experience (she found a husband that way) with plenty to say about online dating …xxx
xxx
On-line dating can be a really useful way to meet a partner, especially if you’re not young anymore. It’s the way I met my wonderful husband. But, there are many things to know, which I will clue you in to:
#1. Lie about your age
Yes, that’s right. You need to defeat computer categorization and the male assumption that younger women are better or more appropriate. Although my husband had nothing against an older woman, he naturally filled in the blank that said he’d like to meet someone his age or younger. I was three months older. Had I not lied, the computer would never have picked me up on his search. Take off about 5 years, no more, and be prepared to tell the truth on the first or second date. But no other actual lies!
#2. Spend as little time as possible corresponding on line
You can discover someone is your soul mate over months of correspondence and have the whole thing dissolve with your first look at one another. So don’t waste your time. Correspond just long enough to make sure the person is literate, reasonably appropriate and not a psycho. Then set up a phone call where you do the calling. If that sounds promising, set up a coffee date.
#3. Weeding out the psychos at online dating sites
I haven’t actually encountered any ax-murderers, but there are the typical crazies you might meet anywhere — lost in fantasy, over-possessive, over-critical, angry at the ex, desperate. If you don’t know these people are wrong for you when you meet them in real life, you won’t be able to identify them online either. Online dating simply introduces you to (potentially) available men. It does nothing to sharpen your perception.
#4. Keeping safe.
For most of us, physical safety is not really a problem. Still, try to keep as much control as possible. Ask for their phone number and call at first from a number where you can’t be called back. Also, before you meet them or soon after, ask for a business phone number and call late at night to see whether it really is a business. You can tell something, although not everything, from a voicemail. And, of course, follow the time-honored advice we all knew in college: Stay in public!
