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Father’s Day made me remember I never posted what I’d wanted to say about Mother’s Day. And, since my little family story is applicable to both, this seems appropriate …
I’d always (turns out, wrongly) understood that Mother’s Day was a Hallmark manufactured holiday,* so after my son Devin was born I blithely announced that this was a day we didn’t need to celebrate.
When Devin was a babe and as Mother’s Days came and went, my husband Aubrey and I logically agreed that I certainly wasn’t his mother, and Devin was too young anyway. But the phone rang … What did Devin get you? … What did Aubrey get you? … And, of course, the silence when I said “Oh, nothing. We don’t think of Mother’s Day as a holiday in our house.”
The turning point came one late afternoon, when Devin and I stood at the unusually busy prepared food counter at the corner store. As the fellow served up our order, he looked directly at Devin (now old enough to know to buy flowers), and said “What’d you get your mother today?” He was joined by a chorus of other strangers’ voices – all gleefully barraging us with the very same question.
Blush. Embarrassment. What kind of mother didn’t get a gift from her son? I became sheepish. And I buckled.
So … yes … today I DO expect to get something from my son – a greeting, a contribution, a card. It’s just too mortifying for others to think that he doesn’t care enough to … well … care. And – while I totally hate to admit it – I do feel more loved when I receive that special (albeit contrived) something.
I guess dads probably feel the same way.
xxx
*TWO VERY IMPORTANT NOTES TO THIS STORY:
1) When I mentioned the Balkind Mother’s Day doctrine to a girlfriend, she was horrified. With a number of kids, she felt Mother’s Day was the most important day of the year, and, you know, in her case she was absolutely right!
2) Turns out there’s a sincere motive for Mother’s Day! According to Wikipedia, the first observance in the U.S. dates back to the 1870’s, and in the UK and Ireland it’s mentioned as early as 1854. But Father’s Day – well, that day “is a celebration inaugurated in the early twentieth century to complement Mother’s Day” …
Ok, we get it …
