Sometimes, a rejection might not really be a rejection of you …
Our “Family” advisor Francines explains why — whether single, divorced or widowed — sometimes you might be sending messages that you’re not even aware of …
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Break-up No. 1:
The sudden, unexplained — and not-what-you-wanted — break-up
ast week I was talking to a woman who’d been widowed a little over a year and had just started dating. The man she’d been seeing regularly for four months had just called her and said it wasn’t working out. He couldn’t explain why and she had no idea. She was really liking him and was devastated.
I have a hypothesis. She told me that he was also widowed. He let her know he was definitely interested in a long term relationship. She’d told him she wasn’t sure what she wanted. She was just getting her feet wet. I’m guessing he gave it a shot. Then he sensed–as I did in talking to her–that she was still mourning her husband and was not really ready to move ahead. He may not have been able to articulate this, but there was SOMETHING he felt he was not getting from her. An answering passion? A deeper committment? Something.
If she looks at this possibility–that they were in different places, wanted different things–she’ll still feel disappointed, but maybe less rejected. Sometimes a guy wants more of you than you can give right now.
How’s that for a more consoling way of looking at it?
